The Polar Vortex prisoner a whole nation’s courtesy this week with record-breaking low temperatures. With many people cooped adult during home, there wasn’t most to do — solely tweet. Eliza Bayne was a bit doubtful about a whole thing: “I won’t trust there’s a Polar Vortex until it becomes a anniversary latte season during Starbucks.” Hurricane Pumpkin Spice doesn’t sound too bad to us.
While some were concerned, Jenna Kim Jones was desirous by a cold continue when she tweeted, “$10 says Polar Vortex is #1 baby name in 2014.” Watch out North West, Polar Vortex competence unseat you.
For some-more good tweets from women, corkscrew by a list below. Then revisit a Funniest Tweets From Women page for a past collections.
Relationship status: pizza smoothness man told me to put some trousers on.
— Slightly humorous Jew (@Dani_Feld) January 10, 2014
How many Americans do we know who pronounce it “DownTOWN Abbey” haha we are classless and savage
— Adrienne Airhart (@craydrienne) January 6, 2014
I usually bought examination leggings online so we theory this is what christy turlingtons life is like. Also I’m eating marshmallow ice cream.
— Jessi Klein (@jessirklein) January 6, 2014
Adulthood is anticipating no one ever calls we on a phone.
— Pomegrenede (@Pomegrenede) January 4, 2014
Polar Vortex is when we do a exposed frigid bear float and afterwards we bone someone immediately after, as we know it.
— Negin Farsad (@NeginFarsad) January 6, 2014
The Bachelor could also be called, “Fuck You, Bechdel Test.”
— Jen Statsky (@jenstatsky) January 7, 2014
Just shaved my legs for a initial time given final year. Line forms to a left, gentlemen.
— Ali Spagnola (@alispagnola) January 8, 2014
My 4am paper smoothness guy’s automobile has no muffler.
In box we were wondering how we finish adult with a “nemesis.”
— Amy Vansant (@KidFreeLiving) January 8, 2014
LIFE HACK: when someone says ‘it’s so cold’ during a frigid vortex, respond with ‘No, Rose, you’re gonna die an aged lady comfortable in your bed.’
— Ella Ceron (@ellaceron) January 7, 2014
$10 says Polar Vortex is #1 baby name in 2014.
— Jenna Kim Jones (@jennakimjones) January 7, 2014
So unhappy my grandparents are dead. Grandpa would’ve so enjoyed job Grandma “the ol’ frigid vortex.”
— Sarah Thyre (@SarahThyre) January 7, 2014
Girls during parties adore Nabokov Terry Southern Confederacy of Dunces Beat poets we like Edith Wharton and it’s like record scratch
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) January 5, 2014
It’s too bad we live in such a masculine driven society, since we usually wrote a best tampon joke.
— Michelle Wolf (@michelleisawolf) January 8, 2014
Pretty unhappy to find out I’m not in Forbes’ “30 underneath 30″ list. Also flattering unhappy to find out I’m not “under 30.”
— EricaOyama (@EricaOyama) January 8, 2014
I’m sincerely certain that if we got one of those handling systems from Her a voice would usually be a Jewish mom revelation me to get behind to work
— Rachel Syme (@rachsyme) January 9, 2014
Relationship status:
I consider we wish this pizza to accommodate my parents.
— Jayne Wright (@jaynecomplains) January 9, 2014
You guys- if we call someone a “loser” though we spell it “looser,” we lose.
— Sarah Colonna (@sarahcolonna) January 9, 2014
Lifetime cinema have taught me to support a chairman for murder.
— molly (@Molly_Kats) January 9, 2014
*Tokyo drifts ideally into place in a Taco Bell expostulate thru*
— Helena Bottom-Farter (@solikebasically) January 8, 2014
Guess how many meatballs we can eat. How many do we have.
— Shelby (@smelbz) January 7, 2014
Welcome behind to a America’s Sweetheart: Fight To The Death Edition. Jennifer Lawrence is here with her charm, Anna Kendrick has a cup.
— Amber (@Amburglar_) January 8, 2014
Could usually find a b-squad bra when we got prepared this morning and it’s fucking ruining my day. #lady #problems
— Erin Gloria Ryan (@morninggloria) January 9, 2014
I synced cave and my husband’s calendars on iCloud and he keeps adding eventuality alerts like ‘take off bra’.
— Li’l Edie Surly (@JennyPentland) January 8, 2014
The drive-thru teller during a bank was so overly accessible that we consternation if she’s in a warrant situation.
— Wendi Aarons (@WendiAarons) January 8, 2014
Yes, non-Americans replying to my twitter about frozen temperatures. we am wakeful of this Celsius we pronounce of. He was in Hufflepuff, yes?
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) January 8, 2014
I won’t trust there’s a Polar Vortex until it becomes a anniversary latte season during Starbucks
— Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) January 6, 2014
next time some creepy man asks me what i like in bed i’m usually gonna be honest and contend “my mechanism and aged takeout boxes”.
— Lane Moore (@hellolanemoore) January 9, 2014
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